Sunday, December 14, 2008

Tavvi and Connor

There's a family, here in the greater PDX area, that I've known for a while now. It's a pretty crazy story with way more drama than anyone should ever have to deal with. The short version is that there's a young mother with a preschooler of her own, who jumped through every hoop necessary to become a foster parent for her three younger siblings. These foster kids have been through worse abuse than most of us could ever imagine.

This is Conner.

This is Tavvi.

Connor and Tavvi's older sister, Steph, has done amazing things. The kids have needed serious therapy. She made sure they got it. They are currently in a private, therapeutic school with friends and a real chance at stability. These are not things that the state (or anyone else) casually offered. Steph has gone to extreme effort and expense to provide the best care possible for these kids. What I consider even more important, they love each other. They are a functioning family, now.

I'm not a lawyer. I'm not sure how or why this is being done, but apparently the state of Virginia, where the biological parents who caused all this pain and trouble currently reside, are taking these kids to Virginia on Tuesday. Not to live with rehabilitated parents, mind you, but to be split up and placed in foster care with people they don't know so that IF the bio-parents decide they are willing to perform the necessary rehabilitation, the kids can be returned to them. But it's been over two years and as far as I know, these parents have made no move to participate in any rehabilitation efforts... so I have to say this sounds like a horrible failure of a system put in place to protect children.

If you look back to my birthday entry from last year, you'll see a bunch of people sitting around... those blue-haired ones... that's who I'm talking about. We're talking about a lot of time, growth, love, security and stability, all gone.

Of course, they can tell it better than I can, so check out:
Tavvi and Connor want to stay home
Mothering.Commune forum discussing this story
Shame on Virginia Blog I don't think I know the woman who's running this one, but Steph and Urban Princess (HRH UP is one of Steph's close friends and is also going to the mat on this) recommend it.

Check it out. If you have advice, suggestions or words of support you can leave them at Steph's site. If you'd rather just comment here, I'll pass them along. Thanks!


  1. Thanks so much for passing this info along.

  2. I am so sorry. I wish I was there to join the party. I will pray for them.

  3. I commented on her KATU blog. I wonder why she's not going to court over this. Seems like that would be the best way to stop the situation.

  4. Boy does this story hit home. Really really close to home. I wish there was something I could do to help out. I hope she can start an ICPC and push for the children to be allowed to stay with her while the parents sign their rights away. Are the parents up to doing that? The state systems don't make any sense when it comes to children in messed up family situations. Have her call her Senator and State Reps. That's the first thing I did and it helped some - not a lot, but some.

  5. Perhaps Oregon Advocacy Center can help, its worth a call number is 503-243-2081.I will keep thinking about any other resources, that may be able to help protect these kids. You are in my prayers!

  6. Lynn Travis, CASA for Children (serving Washington and Multnomah County)December 19, 2008 at 2:55 PM

    CASA for Children (which is listed as a resource for Legal Advocacy for Connor and Tavvi) serves children who are wards of the juvenile court in Multnomah and Washington Counties in Oregon. We are not in a position to provide advocacy for these children in Clackamas County or in the juvenile proceeding in Virginia. Thank you for your efforts for these children.