Monday, June 30, 2008

Good Enough

It's been a rough day. Nothing horrible. Just one of those days. I woke up with my usual morning enthusiasm (yes, I'm one of those annoying morning people), but was shortly stymied by the realization that Bayba's night-time Pull-Up had been breached and there were puddles on my bed and in hers (that she shares with G-Rex). Then, later, she wet her pants as I was trying to shovel everyone out the door so we could run off to GERD Girl's 4 month well-baby check up. After the check up I took the kids to lunch at Burgerville. Apparently the presence of speaking children offended the older women who occupied the booth across from us because, after much huffing and grumbling, they removed themselves to an outdoor table, looking daggers at me through the window. I still have no idea what offended them - even Bayba was well-behaved - other than (possibly) the discussion I was having with G-Rex about how petroleum, OPEC, and U.S.-based oil companies affect our local economies. Whatever. Then we went to the library... and I hate to admit this, but no matter how much I like the library for my own selfish purposes, I find the kiddie segment of the library to be a bit wearing.

Anyway, blah blah blah. Fill in the rest of my day with potty training accidents, a three-year-old dumping out half her bath water on the floor, an eight-year-old disgusted by not being allowed to play with her friends unsupervised (long story), yadda yadda yadda...

Oh yeah, and some seriously impressive vomiting from GERD girl...


As soon as Mr. Geeky McEngineer (my husband) walked in the door, I handed off the younger kids and G-Rex and I ran away to Whole Foods... a 40 minute drive.

Now, as a little background - y'all know I have some body image baggage. So, yes, in addition to my nasty little gym addiction, I've been... ugh... yes... d i e t i n g. Serious Calorie restriction. Get off my case. Yeah, I already know better.

Anyway, we had a little time left over after GERD Girl's appointment, so the ND asked if I had anything else. So I brought up some issues I've been having with splitting fingernails and some other such miniscule complaints. Turns out I seem to have some mineral deficiencies. And I probably haven't been getting enough fat. OK. So, at least for today, I decided to eat whatever-the-heck I feel like eating.

So what did I eat for dinner tonight? Why... a spinach salad, of course. Followed by an intense Spanish cheese on cranberry whole grain crackers accompanied by a Petite Syrah that's really growing on me. I find it amusing that what I eat when I have no limits is probably exactly how and what I should be eating.

Yes, I realize that I discover and relearn this ever other month. *sigh*

So now I think I'll have a little slice of mint chocolate cake and ponder how I managed to get to the end of a long grumpy day and still feel good enough.

Good enough for what isn't the point. I just generally feel OK.

Works for me.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Not the Sharpest Tool...

Today I performed a ridiculous act of stupidity.

When it was time to go to the gym, the two older girls were playing sooooo nicely together. They didn't want to interrupt their game to go out into the 90' heat. The baby was sleeping. So I thought, hey, the best thing would be to cancel the gym thing and just stay home and enjoy the quiet.

The kids were thrilled. So I called the Y and cancelled the childcare reservations.

As Murphy would have it, the girls were at each other's throats about 5 minutes before I would have surrendered them to childcare - had I stuck with The Original Plan. Their fighting woke the baby.

So now I'm in a house without A/C with a restless teething baby and two girls who want me to referee every 5.8 minutes. I feel fat and grumpy and cheated.

When will I learn to make sure I take care of myself? Everyone would have been so much happier today if I'd just stuck with my original selfish plan.

Monday, June 23, 2008

And the Oscar Goes To...

And the Oscar goes to...


The mommy in the red minivan for appearing interested and involved as her eight-year-old decided to count, out loud, to 500... in ROMAN NUMERALS! ("I. I, I. I, I, I. I, V...")

And if that mommy will keep walking stage left, she can snag her Patient-Mom-Of-The-Year award for keeping her composure as her three year old refused to leave the pool at the end of her swimming lesson... This three-year-old clutched her water toys and high-tailed it to the center of the pool, always just out of arms reach of her swim instructor and avoiding the mommy who, clutching a baby in a sling, ran around the periphery of the pool, attempting to corner the little darling. The mommy managed to sort through eight million potential tactics and scenarios without damaging any important brain cells and was able to avoid jumping into the pool, fully clothed, to drag the little cutie out of there by uttering the simple warning, "If you don't listen to your teacher, put your toys away, and come out of the pool now, you won't be able to come back for any more swimming lessons." After this warning was put forth, the three year old very calmly and sweetly returned the toys to their proper place and climbed out of the pool as if complying had been her idea in the first place.

Somebody give that mom some CHOCOLATE!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Just Another Day with Bayba the Dynamatrix

Picture an elementary school gym, packed for an awards ceremony. I stand proudly in the back, GERD-girl in sling (she had already soaked us both in spit up in the two minutes it took to traipse from car to afrorementioned gymnasium), three year old hanging from my right arm, climbing my leg to do flips. The climbing and flipping were less disturbing to others than the stealing-of-other-kids' (and one adult's) chairs that she was doing earlier, so I was content to pat and dab puking baby with my left hand and control a flipping tasmanian devil with my right.

Smiling, I manage to shoot thumbs-ups and happy nods as my eight-year-old is called to the front SIX times to collect her awards. No other child's name is called more than once, so I'm already garnering a little more attention than I'd like - yet I have to admit that the misplaced My-Child-Is-An-Honor-Student-At-_______-type smug glow is creeping up.

The awards ceremony concludes. The students gather themselves to exit the gym as the parents wait. I release Bayba's hand to hold a cloth diaper over the front of the baby so that her projectile vomit won't land on anyone around us.

And then a siren scares the living daylights out of everyone in the gym.

Oh. No.

Oh yes.

Holding the be-slinged baby tight against my body, I dive for the media cart where a BULLHORN is flashing red lights and blaring an alarm. Somehow I find the switch Bayba had turned and turned it off. Blushing like crazy, I laugh with the parents who are chuckling sympathetically and hurry past those who aren't as I usher my dynamatrix out the door.


Friday, June 6, 2008


Today, as I made lunch, I marvelled over how good I feel. Despite being up all night with a congested three-month-old with reflux and despite the three-year-old being all sniffly and grumpy and despite the reality that the previous issues mean I couldn't go work out at the gym today... despite all that, I feel vibrant and alive. Strange.

Then I began to pat myself on the back a little because I've been eating quite well today. High protein fruit and yogurt smoothie for breakfast (and again for mid-morning snack) and then the lunch I was making consisted of a quesadilla (skim mozzarella on a multi-grain tortilla), half a banana, carrot sticks and hummus (what can I say, I'm multi-cultural). Nice.

Of course, then I had to contrast to yesterday when I basically ate junk all day. I skipped breakfast so I scarfed down two Luna bars and a mint Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich... then made quesadillas for lunch and ate two of those... then ate chocolates a friend brought over... and then celebrated a milestone for G-Rex by ordering pizza for dinner.

When I look back over my week... and month... I realized that I eat horribly when I hang out with friends. Is it the stress of socializing? Or is it that hanging out with friends feels like a party, so I subconsciously justify binging? Or is it a combo of those two combined with my practice of baking all sorts of unhealthy goodies in honor of my friends - stuff I normally know better than to keep around? Hmm.

But I do kind of wonder if part of my social anxiety might be caused or exacerbated by the difference in nutrition.

Well, there went my allotted Pondering Time for the day. I'm off to dress lollipoppits in their ball gowns.