The Power of Dissent

Today I posted a link to a Bitch Magazine article on my Facebook page. It's about the history of Feminism and the uglier underbelly of some of our feminist heroes. I loved it. Some didn't. In answer to the criticism, " I find it misinformative and not grounded in actual fact. She has taken small bits of info about the trailblazing women she's listed and twisted that info to suit her agenda." 


I wrote, "In my opinion, those tidbits of information are not meant to invalidate the contributions of the trailblazers, but to remind us of the weaknesses in the feminist movement(s). No one is perfect. We are all products of our times - and all, as activists, people for whom "the way things are" is not good enough. We all expect more.

So, today, as we celebrate the right to speak up as full citizens and vote, it is also urgent that we acknowledge both how far we've come *and* how far we have to go. I don't think it's unfair or unjust to look back upon the mistakes and wrong-thinking of even the people we most admire. It's crucial that we do so in order to keep the work of justice alive and well, rather than forcing very human predecessors onto pedestals of sanctity and obsolescence.

If we don't take the time to dig through our own histories, willing to confront the less pleasant details, how can we respect ourselves or expect anyone else to respect what we're doing? That people do the best they can in the times they live does not necessarily reflect poorly upon them - but if we refuse to step up and declare that some things can and must be done better now, what's the point of continuing?"

This got me thinking about why I value the less-pleasant aspects of truth-seeking and the humanizing of our idols and it occurred to me that its roots are in the deceit I found heartbreaking in the subculture of the religion of my youth. The corrections made possible by criticism and peer review make trust possible. So here's the background on why I'm so thankful to the tellers of unpleasant truths...

Walking the Walk?

I just finished a long and serious talk with my daughter; one I hadn't really thought I would be having with an almost-ten-year-old. That is: It's not just your body that's your own. Your time, your energy, your feelings - all your own. No one has the right to demand access to you. Being a girl sometimes means that you will be called mean for being assertive. Many people are threatened or even intensely angered by a girl (or woman) who refuses to be accessible (which is kinda what all those culturally-enforced niceties are all about). That is their problem. Not hers. We talked about boundaries and how important it is not to feel obligated to be available to a person who is actively or passively ignoring your expressed boundaries.

No, nothing horrible happened to her. She's been having trouble for quite a while with a boy who won't leave her alone. Today I witnessed it.

Feminism 101

Melissa McEwan, over at Shakesville, did a great entry about Feminism 101, a while back. I highly recommend reading it, even if you already have a pretty decent grasp of feminism. It's a link to keep in to toolbox for dealing with much of the crap that comes up, day to day.

Results of Lift-Off

A while back, just before I shut down my blog for a while, I posted about being hypomanic and then, shockingly, never followed up. So now that I'm not in that state anymore, I thought I'd go ahead and let y'all know that that part of my life is OK.

Yes, I had a hypo jag. During this hypo jag I painted, downloaded deeply inspiring music, committed to eight billion activities for the kids, got that whole back-to-school gig rolling and traveled - without kids, husband, anything - to my BFF's 40th birthday shindig in Texas.

We All Have Our Reasons

I spent a good portion of my day at the endodontist. The first hour or so was awful. I was so nervous that I forgot to bring the X-rays and referral information from my regular dentist. They were very kind and assured me it was fine. I was trying not to act nervous, mind you. But I was shaky. Distracted.

I hate anything dentistry related. And no, it's not because I'm just a big hysterical wimp. At least, I don't see it that way. It's not so bad with my regular dentist. It's the new ones that freak me out.

What they don't get and I don't know how to explain is that I am not worried about the pain.

Bullies

This morning, a friend on Facebook linked to this story: Man slaps child in Walmart: Mom blogger can identify, sort of. You can read the comments for yourself, but I don't recommend it. Reading the comment section of any news story can quickly cause depression and misanthropy. Sadly, the first comments on my friend's link were "funny" recommendations for assaulting the mother. Hilarious suggestions like punching her in the face or cutting her. Apparently it can be assumed that she deserved to be shamed for the offense of inflicting a crying child on the poor victims of Wal Mart.