Soldering Iron of Justice

“If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like ‘Hey, look. He’s carrying a soldering iron!’ and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, ‘That’s right, it’s a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.’ Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.” -- Jack Handey

:o) I <3 xkcd.com

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/90s_flowchart.png

I'll Supply the Circensis... Get Your Own Panem

This little nugget of joy warms the cockles of my cold little OCD heart.

Passive-Aggressive Notes (dot com)

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things.

Dead on.

O How I Love Thee, Jon Stewart

Ouch

So we're watching the news...

Correction:

The kids are watching the news while I am playing Mobsters on myspace and Mr. Geeky is eating my cupcakes (not a euphemism... and a whole other blog).

Anyway, cue a soundbite - Governor Palin asking, "What is the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?"

Mr. Geeky replies drolly, "3 IQ points."

Oooh. Snap.

A Tip of the Hat to Paris

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

So I know many of you have already seen this (or portions of it), but I've been meaning to embed it here, too. I've never been a huge fan of Ms. Hilton, but I have to at least give her a little love for participating in this project.

And the Oscar Goes To...

And the Oscar goes to...

***drumroll***

The mommy in the red minivan for appearing interested and involved as her eight-year-old decided to count, out loud, to 500... in ROMAN NUMERALS! ("I. I, I. I, I, I. I, V...")

And if that mommy will keep walking stage left, she can snag her Patient-Mom-Of-The-Year award for keeping her composure as her three year old refused to leave the pool at the end of her swimming lesson... This three-year-old clutched her water toys and high-tailed it to the center of the pool, always just out of arms reach of her swim instructor and avoiding the mommy who, clutching a baby in a sling, ran around the periphery of the pool, attempting to corner the little darling. The mommy managed to sort through eight million potential tactics and scenarios without damaging any important brain cells and was able to avoid jumping into the pool, fully clothed, to drag the little cutie out of there by uttering the simple warning, "If you don't listen to your teacher, put your toys away, and come out of the pool now, you won't be able to come back for any more swimming lessons." After this warning was put forth, the three year old very calmly and sweetly returned the toys to their proper place and climbed out of the pool as if complying had been her idea in the first place.

Somebody give that mom some CHOCOLATE!